yearning to yearn

this morning I read from one of my old journals. I ws reminded of how my relationship with God was then--how I felt he spoke to me, how I craved the word of God, how much zeal and passion consumed what I did...I feel like I've changed...well anyone, over time changes, but I don't have that passion anymore. I want to have it yes...but i feel like I'm waiting for it to just be thrust upon me instead of seeking it out.

I was in Wal-mart with my mom this afternoon and we got separated. In our brief disconnection I realized a truth. I was looking for her, but I was not lost. I knew my search would not be in vain, I would find her eventually because she would not leave me. I didn't have to panic or have fear of my surroundings because I knew them and because my mom was still there--plus she was only a phone call away. I got separated from her because I wanted to go do my own thing, and then I lost track. So I had to seek her out.

this I found was much like my relationship with God. when my reading is "dry" or I go astray or just loose sight of what is important--it does not mean I lose my salvation. I am not "lost"--I am looking--searching, pursuing God. And I know I will find him--"seek and you will find"--he's not playing hide-and-seek with us. He wants to be found! He will not leave us. He is always with us. So why fear? What's bad is when a person does not know he/she is lost, and does not know who to seek. in the words of the little boy in The Sixth Sense, "I see dead people all the time...they don't know they're dead..." that gives me chills. People don't know they are dead--spiritually...like the valley of dry bones in Ezekiel 37... anyways...all this from gettin momentarily separated from my mom in walmart!

Jeremiah 29:13
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Luke 11:9
So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Lord, I pray you restore zeal and passion in my walk with you. Help me to grow and never thirst for anything but that which truly satisfies--You.